Getting the first days at home right
Your dog has just left everything behind: his mother, his littermates, his bearings. In the first few days, aim for calm, not performance. Let him explore at his own pace, set up a gentle routine, sleep in the same room as him and reward every small win. You have nothing to prove, only to reassure.
Why you can breathe easy
A puppy who has just arrived is in survival-and-discovery mode: his true character won't show until his bearings are in place. Judging the relationship in the first week is like judging a photo taken in fog. The toilet accidents, the crying at night, the way he follows you everywhere are neither faults nor provocation: it's his age and his adjustment. Your only real job at the start is to become the place where he feels safe.
The first day, no pressure
No packed schedule, no lessons, no crowd: just gentleness and a few bearings.
Open the crate and let him come out on his own
In the living room or the garden, without carrying or forcing him. Sit on the floor and let him come to you when he decides to.
Act normally
No background stress, no ten people around. He'll move from one person to another at his own tempo.
Take a short 15-minute walk on a long line
On a long line rather than a lead: he stays near you naturally, because he needs your presence.
Show him his own spot
A bed with raised sides in a quiet place. If he'd rather sleep on your feet, let him: you don't force anything on the first day.
Reward the very first wee outside
It's the only treat of the first two or three days: going to the toilet outside becomes the jackpot.
Setting a routine that reassures
Dogs love what's predictable: a gentle routine soothes them and speeds up everything else. "No rules" on the first day doesn't mean "no rhythm".
0 / 4The first few nights
The first night is the hardest: he's just been separated from his family. You reassure, you don't isolate.
Put his bed in your bedroom
Door closed, near you. Not in the bed, but in the room: your presence soothes him and you can hear his signals.
Last wee late in the evening
Around midnight for the very first nights, no play or excitement, just a wee and back to calm.
Set an alarm every 2 hours
Take him out for a calm wee, then back to sleep. No night-time party, keep the tone quiet.
Lengthen the intervals bit by bit
2h, then 3h, then 4h, at his own pace. If he holds on nicely until the 3-hour alarm, push it a little later the next night.
Getting used to being alone, in tiny steps
This is THE thing that prevents separation anxiety: you don't teach being alone by leaving for a whole day, you build it minute by minute. Never five hours from the off.
Lui montrer que tu pars et que tu reviens, toujours.
- Go and shower, take out the bins, pop down for the post without taking him
- Leave without ceremony, come back without a big fuss
- Leave him on the other side of the door, not with you in the bathroom
Move on when: Il te regarde partir quelques minutes sans paniquer.
Quelques minutes seul, détendu, pendant qu'il se repose.
- Take him out, play with him and feed him so he falls asleep peacefully
- Give him a busy toy he ONLY gets while you're away
- Leave for 3 minutes, then 5, no drama on leaving or coming back
Move on when: Il reste calme sur de courtes absences, sans détruire ni faire ses besoins.
Des absences plus longues vécues comme un moment de repos, pas de panique.
- Build up in small steps, never a jump of several hours
- Put the special toy away when you're back, in front of him, so it stays precious
- Keep your returns calm even if there's been a mishap
Laying the groundwork gently
Your first training reflex fits in one word: a cheerful "yes!" said right at the moment he gets it right, followed by a reward. It's your own marker, always to hand, warmer than any gadget. No need to rush: real training can wait 2 to 4 days, the time it takes for him to feel at home.
This is normal, you're on the right track
- He cries the first night
- He doesn't finish his meal on the first day (stress kills the appetite)
- He has accidents for weeks
- He follows you everywhere and sleeps a huge amount
- You feel overwhelmed or full of doubt: the "puppy blues" affects nearly one owner in two
Here, a helping hand really does help
- You're on your own with no time off: lean on someone close and spread out the learning
- A specific behaviour worries you (panic the moment you leave, growling over the bowl): a positive-methods trainer can support you
- Your puppy refuses several meals, is being sick, has diarrhoea or seems listless: call the vet
- AVSAB — Position Statement on Humane Dog Training (2021)
- Ståhl et al. — Validation of the "puppy blues" scale (npj Mental Health Research) (2024)
- Horwitz & Landsberg — House Soiling, Merck Veterinary Manual (2024)
- AVSAB — Position Statement on Puppy Socialization (2008)
Frequently asked questions
How do you welcome a dog properly?
Aim for calm, not an event. Let him come out of his crate on his own and explore at his own pace, with no crowd and no rules on the first day. Quickly set a gentle routine (meals, trips outside, rest), sleep in the same room as him for the first few nights, and reward every success. He's just left everything behind: your calm reassures him more than anything.
How do you get a dog used to being left alone?
In tiny steps, never all at once. Start with micro-absences from day one (having a shower, taking out the bins), then departures of 3 to 5 minutes once he's been out, fed and calm. Leave him a toy kept just for these moments, and keep your comings and goings neutral. For a puppy, no real time alone before three and a half months, and no more than 2 to 3 hours.
How do you look after a dog well?
Cover his core needs: walks where he sniffs and explores, real rest (a puppy sleeps up to 18 hours a day), a predictable routine and bonding through play. For training, a marker "yes!" followed by a reward, never punishment or shouting. And a first vet visit to start off on the right foot.
How long can a dog be left alone?
It's built up, not a stamina target. A puppy of three and a half months stays no more than 2 to 3 hours, and you lengthen it very gradually. An adult who knows how to be alone can manage half a day, but regular trips outside are still a need: never use "he can hold on" as an excuse.
Is it normal to feel overwhelmed in the first few days?
Yes, completely. The "puppy blues" (anxiety, tiredness, self-doubt) affects nearly one owner in two and fades quickly (Ståhl et al. 2024). You've done nothing wrong. Rest, ask for help from those around you, and never decide your dog's future at 3 in the morning, exhausted.
Should you let a puppy cry on the first night?
No. If he cries, it's because he's just been separated from his mother and littermates, not because he's testing you. Put his bed in your bedroom, door closed: your presence soothes him and you can hear when he needs to go out for a wee. Leaving him to "cry it out" pushes him into distress for nothing.
How long does it take for a puppy to be house-trained?
Longer than you're promised, and that's normal: reliable house-training follows a physical maturation that spans the first 4 to 6 months, sometimes up to a year (Merck Veterinary Manual 2024). No puppy is house-trained "in 10 days". You multiply the trips outside, reward outdoors, and never tell off an accident.
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