Kiss and hug tricks
Why these two tricks are worth it
Physically, these two tricks ask almost nothing: a lick of the tongue, a brief push of the front paws. The real learning lies elsewhere, in the emotion. The human face and body contact are two sensitive areas in canine communication. By teaching your dog to come on invitation, you turn two gestures that often cause trouble as long as they stay unruly (licking everyone in sight, jumping on people) into calm, predictable behaviours. And if your dog already jumps up everywhere: don't worry, you haven't missed anything, you're simply going to give him a framework.
Your dog is ready
- He stays relaxed when a face comes close to his.
- He willingly seeks contact, of his own accord.
- He already enjoys close cuddles without freezing up.
Better to wait a little
- He turns his head away, stiffens or backs off when you lean towards him: work on the relationship and on reading his signals first.
- He's a puppy who still nips: start with a reliable lick before offering your cheek.
- A fear of contact seems well established: go through a trainer or a behaviourist before these tricks, this isn't something to improvise on your own.
Teaching the kiss, step by step
We build the lick on a hand first; the cheek only comes once the gesture flows nicely.
The smear of cheese
Spread a thin smear of soft cheese on the back of your hand: a smear gets licked, a chunk gets nibbled. Offer your hand, say "kiss" right as he licks, then reward with your other hand.
The clean hand
Same gesture, but without cheese: he licks out of habit. You mark with a clear "yes!" and you reward.
The offered cheek
Lean down to his level, tap your cheek with your index finger, say "kiss". These are the last few centimetres, and he's the one who crosses them, always. If he doesn't come, you straighten up and move on to something else, without insisting.
Teaching the hug (paws on your chest)
The hug has a clear beginning and a clear end, and both get rewarded.
The invitation
Standing facing him, tap your chest with both hands. When he rises up and places his front paws, say "hug" and reward.
Coming back down
Straighten up or step back half a pace: he sets his four paws back on the floor. The reward is given on the ground, so he also learns to come back down on his own.
The word alone
Say "hug" just before the gesture, then gradually fade out the tapping until the word is enough.
Adapting to your dog day to day
A small dog
- Kneel down on one knee to offer your chest at his level, rather than making him climb up high.
- It's the calm rest of the paws you reward, not the jump.
A big sturdy dog
- Only invite him when you're firmly balanced on your feet, so you don't get knocked off balance.
- You stroke him, you talk to him, but you never wrap him in your arms.
A puppy who still nips
- Wait until the lick is reliable (he licks without snapping) before offering your cheek.
- The kiss will come on its own once teething has settled down.
A senior or a dog with sensitive joints
- For the hug: few repetitions, gentle descent, non-slip floor.
- At the slightest sign of discomfort, we pause and stick to the kiss, with no leaning.
- AVSAB — Position Statement on Humane Dog Training (2021)
- Reisner et al. — Behavioral characteristics associated with dog bites to children (2011)
- Healthy Pets, Healthy People, CDC
To carry on gently
Frequently asked questions
How do you teach a dog to kiss?
In three stages: a thin smear of cheese on the back of your hand, then the clean hand, then your cheek offered as you lean down to his level. At each lick, you say "kiss" and you mark with a "yes!". The golden rule: he's the one who comes towards your face, never your face moving in on him.
How do you teach a dog to hug?
Standing, tap your chest with both hands to invite him. When he places his front paws, say "hug" and reward. Mark the coming back down too: as soon as you straighten up, he sets his four paws down and gets his reward on the ground. You stroke him, but you never wrap him up in your arms.
From what age can you teach the kiss and the hug?
The kiss, as soon as your puppy's lick is reliable, meaning he licks without snapping, often once teething has settled. The hug means waiting for joint maturity: no repeated pushing against the chest with a growing puppy. Until then, the kiss is more than enough.
My dog refuses to give a kiss, what should I do?
Nothing other than respecting it: a refusal is never corrected and never asked for again. You straighten up, you move on to something else, and you'll try again another time on an easier step. A dog who's allowed to say no is precisely the one who ends up offering contact wholeheartedly.
Will teaching the hug teach my dog to jump on people?
It's the opposite, on one condition: only reward the hug on invitation. Paws placed without you having asked for it, we calmly ignore by turning away. Framed as an on-cue behaviour, the trick makes the gesture predictable instead of creating a dog who jumps on everyone.
Is it dangerous to let your dog give kisses on the face?
With normal hygiene, the risk stays low. We avoid the lick on broken skin and, in a home with a frail or immunocompromised person, on the face. Two firm limits: never with a dog you don't know, and with children the face area always stays under an adult's supervision.
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