Dogs and children: gentle introductions
A newly arrived adult dog doesn't know your home or your children yet: let it come to them, never the other way round. Keep the first days quiet, contacts short and supervised, and give it a safe corner where nobody disturbs it. It's the dog that sets the pace, not the calendar.
Why to move at the dog's pace
An adopted dog arrives with a history you don't know: it needs time to understand that this place is safe. Children move fast, speak loudly and make big gestures, all of which can unsettle it, especially if it can't move away. The vast majority of bites to children involve a familiar dog, in ordinary and largely avoidable situations (Reisner et al. 2011; AVMA 2024): a calm introduction and a little patience remove almost all of the risk.
The first introductions, in order
Aim for pressure-free meetings, where the dog stays below its stress threshold.
Set up a safe corner before it arrives
A bed in a quiet spot, away from the through-traffic, declared off-limits to the children. It's its bubble: when it goes there, we leave it alone.
Get to know each other outside, calmly
A short walk together before going in helps the dog arrive relaxed. An adult holds it on a long line (a long, loose lead), while the children stay settled and speak softly.
Let the dog come to the child
The child doesn't rush over, doesn't stare the dog in the eye, and turns side-on rather than facing it. It's the dog that chooses whether to approach, or not.
Link the children to good things
Each time the child is calmly present, the dog gets something pleasant. The child can drop a treat on the floor, without leaning over the dog.
Short strokes, then a break
Under the chin or on the chest rather than over the head, for a few seconds, and stop before the dog has had enough. Too short beats too long.
For the children, this is an absolute rule, no exceptions. As the adult, you do the habituation work alongside it: walking past the bowl and dropping in a tastier morsel, leaving a treat in the bed, without ever disturbing the dog.
When to get support
You can move forward gently
- The dog approaches of its own accord and accepts short contacts.
- It rests calmly and eats without tensing when someone passes at a distance.
- It recovers quickly after a moment of excitement.
Get support without delay
- The dog growls, freezes or stiffens around the children.
- Its fear doesn't ease after several days, or gets worse.
- It stares at, follows or stalks a child like prey.
- It has already nipped or bitten.
If you recognise yourself in the right-hand column, it isn't a failure and you've done nothing wrong: this is work for a veterinary behaviourist and a trainer, not something to sort out on your own. You protect the child and the dog by getting help early, without blaming yourself.
- Reisner et al. — Behavioural characteristics associated with dog bites to children (2011)
- American Veterinary Medical Association — Dog bite prevention (2024)
- Morrill et al. — Ancestry-inclusive dog genomics challenges popular breed stereotypes, Science (2022)
- Quaranta, Siniscalchi & Vallortigara — Asymmetric tail-wagging responses by dogs to different emotive stimuli (2007)
- AVSAB — Position statement on humane dog training (2021)
To go further
Frequently asked questions
How do I introduce baby to the dog?
Prepare well before the arrival: close off at least two rooms to the dog, work on lead walking for the pram and keep its routine steady. When the baby is born, link the baby with good things (a little extra for the dog at every feed) so that its life improves with the baby, never the other way round. And never leave the dog alone with the baby, whatever its age.
Which is the kindest dog with children?
No breed is 'the kindest'. A large study of nearly 18,000 dogs (Morrill et al. 2022) shows that breed explains only around 9% of behaviour, with huge differences between two dogs of the same breed. What protects a child is a well-socialised dog, supervised interactions and an adult keeping watch, not a label.
How do I introduce a new dog to the family cat?
Gently and in stages, never nose to nose straight away. Keep them apart for the first few days, swap their scents (a blanket from each), then let them see each other at a distance behind a barrier while rewarding both for staying calm. The cat must always keep an escape route up high and free access to its litter tray and bowl. Move at the pace of whichever of the two is more anxious.
How long does it take an adopted dog to get used to children?
There's no standard timeframe: the dog sets the tempo, sometimes a few days, sometimes several weeks depending on its past. While it settles in, keep contacts short, calm and always supervised, and let it retreat to its safe corner whenever it needs to. Consistency reassures more than speed.
My dog growls at my child, what should I do?
Whatever you do, don't punish the growl: it's a precious signal that says 'I need space', and suppressing it risks a bite with no warning. Separate them calmly, never again leave the child and the dog unsupervised, and first have a vet check that it isn't in pain. Repeated growling at a child is worked on with a veterinary behaviourist, without delay and without guilt.
Can I leave my dog alone with my child?
No, never, not even for a few minutes and not even with the gentlest dog: the vast majority of bites to children happen with a familiar dog, in ordinary and avoidable situations (Reisner et al. 2011). An adult always keeps their eyes on the interaction. It's the rule that prevents the most accidents.
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