Being a steady guide for your dog

Q: My dog growls when I tell them off, is that dominance?

No, growling is communication , a warning: it's them telling you they're uncomfortable. Punishing it teaches them to go quiet and bite without warning. Look for the cause instead, offer them an alternative, and if the growling is new, have the vet rule out pain.

8 min read

Why your dog needs a point of reference

Dogs are social animals: they need someone to show them how the human world works, because that world isn't their own. That point of reference is you. When you give reliable, steady answers, your dog stops asking themselves the question and relaxes. Conversely, a dog left to handle everything alone lives under constant tension. What binds you is in fact a genuine attachment: you become their secure base (Topál et al. 1998).

A dog who seems to be 'taking charge' isn't trying to command you. More often than not, they make decisions simply because nobody made them first. Your job isn't to subdue them, it's to take those decisions back, calmly.

Start with their needs, not with commands

A troublesome behaviour is nearly always a symptom, not the underlying problem. Before working on obedience, check whether their needs are met: moving, sniffing, chewing, playing, meeting other dogs. An under-stimulated dog is a pressure cooker, and no point of reference holds up against a dog who is boiling over. The good news: making a dog think often tires them out more than a simple run does. Tracking, scent work and puzzle games soothe them as much as they burn off energy (Duranton & Horowitz 2019).

The pillars of a reliable point of reference

Consistency. What's allowed on Monday stays allowed on Tuesday, for everyone in the house. Without consistency, your dog tests the limits, because they never know what to expect.
Calm, clear decisions. You set a limit with a steady word ('stop'), without raising your voice. It's clarity that reassures, not volume.
Routines that reassure. Regular times for meals, walks and play help your dog read the rhythm of the day and manage their emotions better.
Calm under tension. A taut lead, barking at another dog: if you lose your temper, your dog gets more stressed. Calm invites calm, and they feel it the instant it happens.

Earn value in their eyes

Your value doesn't come from your authority, but from your ability to find solutions. The more you consistently give the right answer, the more your dog turns to you instead of deciding alone. The image that sums it all up: a well-supported puppy, settled on a crowded beach, presses against their owner the moment they're unsure, without being asked. They've learned that the solution is right there.

At a door that gets them excited

You wait for them to settle before opening it.
Four paws on the floor and eyes on you: you mark it with a 'yes' and open the door.
They learn that calm opens doors, not restlessness.

At the food bowl

You put the bowl down, ask for a 'sit' and wait until they actually do it.
They sit: 'yes', and they can eat.
They learn that you don't get everything straight away.

When they're unsure on a walk

You stay calm and keep walking without tensing up.
You don't pick them up and you don't force them.
You become the steady point they come back to for reassurance.

When play gets out of hand

You cut it off with a calm 'stop' and put the toy away.
You start again once they've settled.
They learn that play has a beginning and an end that you decide.

Natural following: the invisible point of reference

Natural following is the most understated form of the point of reference. It isn't training: it's your dog who, of their own accord, regularly glances over to check where you are (Rooney & Bradshaw 2003). You set it up from two months old by letting the puppy off the lead in a quiet spot: the more freedom you give them, the more they follow you, because you're their reassuring point of reference.

Vary where you walk. If you do the same route fifty times over, your dog knows it by heart and stops keeping an eye on you. Novelty encourages them to stay attentive to you.

The false signs of dominance to forget

The word 'dominance' has been so corrupted that it's used to justify anything. The truth fits in a single sentence: no dog is dominant by nature, and most of the 'signs' pinned on them are comfort, affection or learning. The 'pack leader' model comes from captive wolves forced to live together, an artefact that researchers themselves have since corrected (Mech 1999, 2008; AVSAB 2008).

To go further

guideReading your dog's body languageBeing a steady presence starts with reading his signals: this guide teaches you to decode his body language.Read the guide guideUnderstand your dog before you judgeA good anchor understands before judging: this guide lays the groundwork for seeing your dog more fairly.Read the guide guideTeaching natural followingTo build on that trust, teach him to follow you naturally, no lead or command needed.Read the guide guidePunishing your dogDiscover why punishment damages trust, and what actually works instead.Read the guide guideExercising and keeping your dog busyA dog who's well exercised and mentally engaged follows you more easily: the perfect complement to your daily role as his anchor.Read the guide guideChoosing your dog trainerIf you'd like some support, here's how to spot an educator who shares this same gentle approach.Read the guide

AVSAB — Position Statement on the Use of Dominance Theory in Behavior Modification of Animals (2008)
AVSAB — Position Statement on Humane Dog Training (2021)
Bradshaw, Blackwell & Casey — Dominance in domestic dogs: useful construct or bad habit? (2009)
Mech — Alpha status, dominance, and division of labor in wolf packs (1999)
Topál, Miklósi, Csányi & Dóka — Attachment behaviour in dogs: a new application of Ainsworth's Strange Situation Test (1998)
Duranton & Horowitz — Let me sniff! Nosework induces positive judgment bias in pet dogs (2019)

Frequently asked questions

How do I know if my dog is dominant?

Dominance isn't a fixed trait in dogs: it shifts with the situation, it isn't a personality. The 'signs' pinned on them (climbing on the sofa, sitting on your feet, going through the door first) are comfort, affection or learning, not a bid for power. Look at the context before you slap on a label.

How do you recognise a dominant dog?

There's no 'dominant type' you'd spot by fixed signs: dominance depends on the relationship and the moment, it isn't an identity (Bradshaw, Blackwell & Casey 2009). What's often taken for dominance is an under-stimulated dog, or one nobody has set clear rules for. What really matters is meeting their needs and earning their trust.

What should you do with a so-called dominant dog?

Above all, don't subdue them or roll them onto their back: confrontation makes things worse. Set consistent rules, meet their needs and reward their good choices with a marker word ('yes') followed by a treat. If they growl or guard their resources, get support from a professional who uses positive methods.

My dog growls when I tell them off, is that dominance?

No, growling is communication, a warning: it's them telling you they're uncomfortable. Punishing it teaches them to go quiet and bite without warning. Look for the cause instead, offer them an alternative, and if the growling is new, have the vet rule out pain.

Do you have to eat before your dog to be the boss?

No, it's a myth. The order of meals means nothing: in the wild, wolf parents even sometimes let the young eat first. What builds your role as a point of reference is everyday consistency, not who eats first.

My dog climbs on the sofa, is he dominating me?

No, they're just after comfort, like us. If the sofa bothers you, you don't need to 'break a dominance': instead, teach them to get up and down on cue, so that you're the one who decides when it's allowed.

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